The Shack
by rachaelphilip
Summary: Another story based on "The Shack" by William P. Young Jessica is in a world of pain, mostly caused by Barry - but he is also suffering terribly. They end up at the shack with Papa, Jesus and Sarayu - how will their weekend with God affect them? Warning: contains some description of sexual abuse
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Barry suffers from Rheumatoid Arthritis - a degenerating disease that he has lived with since the age on 9.

Barry was sexually abused as a boy and hardly knew his father.

Jessica is both his cousin and sister.

No, really - see, their mothers are sisters to each other, making them cousins, but they share the same father, making them siblings.

From a young age, Jessica was sexually abused by Barry, who was 14 years her senior.

This went on for several years.

After that, when Jessica turned 16 and moved in with her grandmother due to the latter needing company and care, he followed.

He never stopped following.

Jessica and her grandmother moved - he followed.

Their grandmother passed away, so Jessica moved into her own flat - Barry followed.

Eventually, the stresses of having her own place grew to high, and Jessica gave in and moved in to Barry's flat.

Due to his Arthritis getting worse, she slowly became his carer and did everything for him. Cooking, cleaning, shopping and helping get dressed - he could get dressed for the most part, it was mostly putting his underwear and pants on while he was covered with a towel, then drying under his arms and putting his top on and deoderant.

Also due to living together, they decided to put their money together...this had the negative effect of Barry turning slightly controlling with money, and he had a gambling addiction.

Betting was first - then debt.

It caused Jessica extreme levels of stress, and that along with flashbacks of the abuse led to her having a serious anger problem.

Big things she could handle...it was little, niggly things that made her blood boil, and when she lost it, it was to a point of smashing things up.

However, she never ever hit anyone - not even Barry despite all the pain he had put her through.

See, Jessica had long ago decided that she didn't want to deal with the pain of court...going through every shameful detail...at the risk of the case being thrown.

And even if he was found guilty, what then?

Did she want him killed or beaten severely in prison?

No...it would never heal her pain or change what had happened to her.

She was forgiving...she saw that holding on to her hate only made her suffer. She knew Barry being hurt wouldn't help her.

Besides, who was she not to forgive? She had done things wrong.

Though the stress had developed her anger issue, she had previously had a 6 month spell where all the memories of the abuse came to her, and she was constantly confused, scared and enraged.

She even lost her temper with her grandmother...she had needed care when she was alive because she had alzhiemers and dementia.

Every day, Jessica was wracked with guilt.

She had neglected her - sometimes failing to give her medication, or not offering food at the right times.

The shame burned deep inside, and she could never forgive herself.

In her eyes, she had done worse to her grandmother through impatience and neglect than what Barry had done to her.

Fast forward to present.

She and Barry still lived together.

Family had moved forward in life, blissfully unaware of Jessica's daily pain.

Of course, as the years passed, new generations had been born, and their cousin had 3 children. Jessica's sister also had 3 children, and a lot of her life included babysitting.

She was careful - she never, ever left Barry alone with them...when they were very young, she would even make them stay in the bathroom with her while she had a bath if they were sleeping over, and they would sleep in her bed with her, where she knew for a fact they were safe.

One of those children, her cousin's only daughter, was called Kim and was 5 years old.

When she had been a young baby up til about the age of 2, Kim had spent a huge amount of time with Jessica - her mother had got a job at a care home and worked 12 hour shifts, so for 4 days a week, Jessica would have Kim from 7.30am - 8.30pm.

Oh she didn't mind - it meant she had bonded fantastically with her.

Kim had in fact taken her first steps towards Jessica - a fact that Jessica would never, ever tell her cousin, who believed the first steps had been a couple of days later when she was off work.

Jessica would never hurt her like that, but it was a secret that she liked and always made her happy.

She loved Kim beyond words, and had been honoured to become her Godmother when she was 4.

Nothing had ever given her more joy.

Anyway, that takes us to Chapter One.

Thaks for reading and please R&R!


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Jessica sighed.

She was so, so bored in life.

She had never been good at normal jobs, so had settled as Barry's carer and did 95% of babysitting for the family's 6 kids.

4 girls and 2 boys between the ages of 2-11.

Jessica didn't really mind, but it did become a grind.

Her life seemed very meaningless and never seemed to move forward.

She had had a boyfriend for 5 years, Luke, and he truly was her rock.

He knew everything about her past and knew her wants and needs.

He also knew she was very desperate to have a baby, but being sensible, had said to wait until they were living together when he inherited a house.

This was of course logical, beside being bittersweet, as everyone knew what inheritence meant.

Jessica was 22 but always knew she wanted children - she needed to be a mother.

Unknowingly to her, she had actually gotten pregnant - she didn't know until she had a strongly suspected miscarriage whilst on holiday with her sister.

It was never confirmed though due to being in another country...so Jessica could never grieve properly and it always played on her mind wether or not she even had a right to be upset as she didn't know what truly happened.

She had been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovaries, and that also added to her broodiness - the fear of not being able to be a mother only intensified her need to be one.

She wanted to feel a life grow inside of her, feel the baby move in her, go through agonizing hours of labour, and finally, hold her precious child in her arms and feel that famous rush of love, and know that she'd never let it be harmed...

She wanted that more than anything.

For now though, she was stuck living with Barry, caring for him and babysitting.

She was extremelly depressed, but feared greatly if she talked to a counciller and told the truth about Barry, that he would be sent to jail, or social workers would get involved...everything she did not want.

It truly was a horrible situation to be in.

She did find comfort in God though, but there was catch...

Jessica could pray and watch countless movies or tv shows that had God in and loved every second...but she was shy...if she watched the same shows with anyone else, she would cringe at scenes where someone would kneel down to God, or ask for forgiveness...and she didn't have a clue why.

Everything about it was amazing, yet she literally couldn't bring herself to watch certain scenes with people.

She could barely talk to her own vicar about God...not that she went to church much.

She wanted to be a good christian, but struggled a lot.

As life dragged her down though, she realised that God was always there for her.

One of her biggest hatreds in life was that Barry was extremelly arrogant and always shot anyone down who tried to disagree with him, or say no to him.

Yes, though Jessica told herself she had forgiven Barry, the truth was that she hadn't - she was just too afraid to admit it to herself, in fear that God would then treat her the same, justly.

It was yet another thing that always played in her mind and with her emotions.

Lately, Jessica had realised that she started to become emotionally numb, and hadn't cried for years, but sometimes emotion just blew out of her - usually in the form of anger.

That anger was usually aimed at Barry, and they would have furious rows.

To prevent herself from the abomination of physically hurting someone esle, Jessica would often bite, or nip or scratch herself - this was a sure method of stopping her savagely beating him up, with years and years of anger and hatred boiling.

Right now, she was watching "The Chase" on telly.

Barry was sitting on his chair, and they tried to do the quiz together, realizing humorously that they'd never win anything.

That's another thing that played on her mind...sometimes Jessica downright despised Barry, and other times, she could actually have a good laugh with him.

She hated herself for having such conflicting feelings for one person.

"I'm going to go have a lie-down." she said.

"Ah right." Barry had nodded.

"Come on Lex." Jessica called, opening the sitting room door.

Happily, Lex jumped off the sofa and followed her.

Barry and Jessica had 2 dogs - Lex was a 6 year old Staffie x Patterdale, who was really Jessica's dog, and Lucy was a 3 year old Patterdale Terrier, who really belonged to Barry.

Sighing again, Jessica finally soaked into her bed, feeling happy at last.

It was the only place she felt truly comforted and calm.

Lex happily rubbed his head into her side, and smiling, she returned the affection with a soft stroke on his side.

Dogs never intentionally caused pain to people and always showed love to their family - they were a true gift from God, and Jessica was very grateful to have Lex.

Her sister had rescued him when he was 5 weeks old.

Poor thing was too young to leave his mother really, but she had no choice.

She was coming back across the country, so took him and left - the previous owner wouldn't come looking...he was a drug user and couldn't care less...the previous week, when Lex had peed on the floor, as any 4 week old puppy would, the owner had picked him up and threw him into a wall.

This had lasting damage, and Lex was left with a kneecap that kept dislocating, and it grew arthritic...winter was the worst for him and he needed painkillers during the colder months.

"Love you Lex." Jessica said gently, and the faithful dog rewarded her by covering her with kisses.

Jessica laughed and they settled down into a cuddle.

As she started feeling sleepy, she began to pray.

"God?" she whispered, "I have these small moments of happiness instead of numbness...but I really need more...wthout sounding ungrateful! I am you know, for everything good that I have! But I feel so empty and lost...well you know everything anyway - please help me sort my life out. Er...glory in your name? Amen..."

With that, she fell into a very deep sleep.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"Jess?"

"Jess?"

Jessica stirred and immediately became anoyed that Barry had woken her up.

"What?" she snapped.

"We're not at home..." he said.

Jessica's eyes snapped open then and all sleep left her.

She looked around.

Barry was sitting on the chair from the sitting room, and she was lying in her bed...but around them was a forest, covered in snow.

"What...the hell is going on?" she stammered, bewildered and quite frightened.

"I...I'm just dreaming." Barry was muttering.

Siezing her opertunity, Jess pinched his arm hard.

"Ow!" he barked.

"Not dreaming!" she grinned, eyes full of glee.

He rolled his eyes.

Jessica soon calmed down though.

"Alright then, if we're not dreaming, then what IS going on?" she speculated.

Just then, they heard someone behind them.

Barry couldn't look due to still sitting in the chair and restricted by his ability to twist and turn, but Jess immediately looked for the source.

Her eyes quickly fell on to a man of around 30. He looked middle-eastern maybe and was wearing your average outdoor gear - just enough to keep warm.

His eyes were kind and Jessica felt at ease with him at once, and knew she would like him.

"Hey!" he called over.

Jess jumped out of bed, and for God knows what reason, made it.

"Uh - hey!" she called back.

She quietly went over and helped Barry get up from his chair.

He could do it himself for most of the time, but sometimes needed a hand.

The middle-eastern man smiled and walked over to them.

"Hey - do you know what's going on?" Jess asked.

"What's not going on more like." the man grinned in reply.

Jess was confused, but the grin was contagious and she unwittingly let out a small giggle.

"Why are you laughing?" Barry asked.

"I like him." Jess replied, still smiling.

"You don't even know him!" came the argument.

Anger flared and Jess glared at him.

"Why do you have to ruin every good feeling I have!?" she growled.

This startled Barry.

"I don't!" he argued.

"Come on now, don't argue! I like you too Jess." the man interjected kindly.

The anger dissapeared and she grinned at him.

"Do you know where we are?" Barry asked.

"Yes, we are all exactly here." the man laughed.

"Oh God, you're not going to be any help!" Barry snapped.

"Don't be so rude!" Jess snapped back.

She turned back to the man.

"I'm sorry about him - but er, we are getting a bit cold...do you know anywhere near that we could go please?" she asked politely.

The man nodded.

"Yeah, come on, there's a shack up that hill - I've got a fire going inside if you wanna warm up...?"

"Oh that would be great! Are you sure we wouldn't be imposing?" she replied a little worried but very grateful.

He shook his head and held his hand up.

"Honestly, it's no trouble...I'd be happy for you to join us." he smiled happily.

"Us?" Barry asked as they began walking up the hill.

They were going slowly for his pace as he struggled up the hill.

"Yes, that is my family and I - my mother and...sister..." the man answered.

"Well we're very honoured - but we haven't got anything to give back to you?" Jess worried.

"Kindness should only be rewarded by kindness - go out in the world and just be good to other people, instead of doing bad, and that will be your payment for my kindness." the man replied gently.

Jess nodded and smiled.

"You are a very, very good man, aren't you?" she asked, "I can tell straight away."

"Thank you." the man smiled, "And for what it's worth, you look like a very, very good woman."

Jess was momentarily flattered, before guilt came back.

"Ah I'm not so sure about that..." she cleared her throat, "so uh, what are your mother and sister like?"

"Oh they are wonderful!" came the reply, and immediately, Jess could hear the excitement and love in his voice.

"How far is the shack?" Barry asked, getting out of breath.

Secretely, Jess grinned at his discomfort.

"It's just up this hill buddy - another couple of minutes walking, it won't kill you." the man answered.

Jess snorted in amusement but tried to control herself - generally she tried to behave in a respectful and kind manner and was only usually mean when she lost her temper.

So, she cleared her throat.

"Hey, er, are you sure your mother and sister won't be imposed by us? Just with them not knowing we're coming."

The man shook his head.

"Absolutely not - they openly invite anyone in need and we actually expect it - its cold out here, and we love offering the warmth." he replied.

"Ah that's really nice...you wouldn't happen to be religious would you?" Jess asked, wondering if the morals were based on a religious background.

The man looked down, grinning.

"That honestly depends on what you'd call religious...its highly complicated, but if you like, we can talk all about it over a nice cup of coffee in front of the fire." he invited.

Jessica's eyes sparked up.

"I'd love to!" she nodded eagerly - most religious discussions with Barry ended in furious rows and just general pettiness...she suspected that was one of the reasons she was shy.

That and all the guilt...

"Is that it?" Barry asked, now really struggling.

Jess felt a stab of sympathy for him.

The man nodded in reply.

"Yep, that's it - not far now." he encouraged.

He was right of course - they arrived at the door in minutes.

"Bet you could use a drink?" the man laughed.

Barry nodded.

"Oh yes!" he agreed, actually cracking a smile.

The man opened the door and called in.

"Sarayu, Papa, we have some guests!"

"Papa? I thought you said mother, not father?" Jess asked, cocking her head.

The man grinned, and before he said anything, a figure rushed out the door ad swept Jess into a fierce hug.

The sudden affection shocked her, but Jess found she liked it.

"Jessica Annmarie Kelly." a large black woman greeted, with true happiness in her voice, looking at a stunned Jess with a huge smile on her face when she released the hug.

"I er - thanks for the hug? How - do I know you?" the young woman stuttered, unsure how to deal with the strange turn of events.

"You sure do sweetheart, just not in the way you think you do - that's why you're here, don't worry!" was the reply.

Jess cocked her head to the side and glanced at Barry, dumfounded.

"Barry Kelly!" the woman now exclaimed, pulling him into a hug.

Barry was less receptive, but not too rude.

"Hey...uh please don't, I don't really like...who are you?" he asked.

"Don't worry Barry, both of you are going to get to fully know us here."

"How do you know our names?" Barry asked.

"Oh, I'm God." came the reply.

Jessica's eyebrows shot up and her heart immediately fluttered - she was terrified and amazed at the same time, but logic comforted her that the hug and invite meant she wasn't in any danger.

"Ooooohhh that's why your Papa! And you're Jesus!" she exclaimed, pointing at him.

He grinned, eyes shining.

"Are you the holy spirit?" Jess asked a third figure sheepishly...she was incredibly beautiful and looked like she...floated?

"Sarayu." she smiled as she nodded.

Jess felt slightly overwhelmed, but incredibly happy at the same time.

"Ohhh this is amazing! Like seriously!" she stated... "uh, without daring to sound rude, why are we here?"

Papa held her shoulder.

"Don't worry, it's not the final judgement or anything scary. We just want to spend the weekend with you and help sort your life out."

"Oh you're answering my prayer?" Jess asked before she could think - she suddenly turned betroot red and looked down, feeling stupid and shy.

"Yes, we're answering your prayer." she heard Papa.

Slowly she looked back up and chanced a smile, which was returned, much to her joy and excitement.

"Oh Jess stop being such a follower!" Barry suddenly snarled, "these idiots aren't God - they'll probably rob us next!"

Fury engulfed Jess again...in these moments, she truly despised him for his sheer arrogance, and his need to take any happiness away from her unless it was him making her happy.

"Rob us of what?" she snarled back, "our happiness? You beat them to it!"

He looked surprised again and glared at her.

Jess all at once remembered that she was literally in the presence of God and the anger vanished, to be replaced by guilt, and she looked down...almost trying to hide from the situation.

"Don't worry Barry - you will come to see that we are far more than just a tale for the strong to control the weak." Jesus informed him, and momentarily, both Barry and Jess felt cold...during an argument just days ago, that is what Barry had said about the concept of God.

"You know, it is pretty cold out here - how about we all go inside and get warmed up?" Sarayu suggested.

Jess loved that idea, but Barry was - of course - reluctant.

"I don't know..." he started.

"Well I'm going in - you can freeze out here if you want!" she growled, literally tasting sourness at the end of her tongue.

Then she felt guilty again...she hated it! One second she was angry and full of hate and the next she hated herself for acting that way!

Papa unexpectedly wrapped an arm around her.

"It's ok Jess - really. We're going to work on it together." she smiled.

And Jessica believed her in a second.

"Come on." Jesus instructed, leading them into the shack.

Reluctantly, Barry slowly followed.


	4. Chapter 3

Jess swallowed - now that she had gotten over the initial shock of being in the presence of the holy trinity, she felt incredibly shy and certainly full of guilt.

What where biggest sins?

Hmm...she'd definately say neglecting her grandmother and her anger if you were to ask her.

The grief of these transgressions followed her everywhere, every day. She was far too shy to ask for forgiveness...though she was physically strong - especially when enraged, in a spiritual sense, she was incredibly weak.

She didn't deserve forgiveness anyway since she couldn't forgive Barry.

She jumped out her skin when Barry suddenly cleared his throat.

"So...what do we do now then?" he asked.

"Well, you don't **have** to to anything. You can do anything you like." Jesus smiled.

"Perhaps you would like a drink?" Sarayu offered.

Both Barry and Jess nodded, but Jess's heart began hammering as she started recalling the bible.

"Water of life" came to mind and she felt cold and shaky as she imagined the spiritual meaning of God giving them a drink, even though in reality, they really were just being offered a simple drink.

Her anxiety refused to calm though, and Jess realised that she had started to sweat and tremble...pain rose in her chest, and quickly she looked around the room for 5 things she could touch - this was a proven method to calm anxiety and stop a panic attack.

She counted as she went: fireplace, chair, flowers, table, Barry...

Suddenly bile rose in her thoat.

She despised the very idea of touching Barry.

She only ever did it when she had to, such as helping his up or get dressed.

A sickening wave of nausea now hit her, and her breathing started to become eradic.

"Jessica, please be calm - you are safe, far from harm." Jesus said calmly and clearly.

After a few seconds, the message finally got through to her brain, and slowly she looked at him.

He was standing just feet away from her - from his expression, it was clear to Jess that he wanted to offer a consoling hand on her shoulder, but had known touching her would make her worse...the thought of the gesture was touching though, and she finally began to calm down.

"Have a drink, it will help." Jesus stated, offering the cup to her.

Immediately, her anxiety rose again, but in a moment she caught his eye.

It was...breathtaking...in his eyes, Jess could see everything.

She could see the light, the stars, the planets, the people, the animals, the heavens...

Blinking back tears, she gulped and took the cup from him.

"Thanks." she whispered.

He nodded kindly.

Now Jess felt entirely undeserving...to her the drink was more spiritual than quenching her thirst.

But at last, she gave in a drank, and found it to be utterly delicious.

In just a few mouthfuls, her entire body and even her mind relaxed and returned to normal - even her anxiety left her.

Her eyes widened and she looked back up at Jesus.

"Thank you." she said again, this time with far more gratitude and emotion.

"You are welcome." he nodded, eyes bright.

Beside them, Barry shook his head in disgust.

"You're not that grateful when I get you a drink." he said pettily.

Fury englufed Jess again, but she didn't say anything.

She spotted the bathroom and quickly locked herself in it.

She gritted her teeth to try and calm herself, and when that didn't work, she scratched her arm with her fingernails.

It took her over, and in a craze, she carved out 4 letters deeply into her arm.

Hate.

The pain was soothing, and at last the anger started to subside.

She breathed out relieved, and gently covered the new scratch with a wet wadd of toilet roll.

Then, as usual, she felt guilty.

God, Jesus and Sarayu were out there, and her whole existance had been a gift from them, and here she was damaging her body.

She really was ashamed, and ashen, she allowed a few tears to escape - it was the first time she'd really cried in years, but she wouldn't allow herself to become hysterical. She allowed the tears to fall for a few minutes, then wiped them away and washed her face.

Suddenly, a sickening pain in her abdomen took Jess by surprise, and it was so bad, she grabbed it and fell to one knee, crouching her body forwards to try and numb it.

She had one hand on the sink and groaned as waves of pain surged through her.

Tears fell freely now, and real fear rose.

What was happening?

She groaned as the pain became more and more intense.

She closed her eyes tight.

"Please help me." she whispered desperately.

Like that, there was a knock on the door.

"Jess?" a voice came.

It was Papa, and honestly, Jess had never felt more relieved in her life.

Papa opened the door and her eyes filled with pity.

Jess felt akward to find herself kneeling infront of God, but in all honesty, she cared more about the horrific pain she was in.

Papa gently crouched next to her and placed her hand on her abdomen.

In seconds, the pain vanished.

Jess's breathing returned to somewhat normal.

"What was that?" she breathed, panting a little.

Papa sighed.

"I think it would be better if Jesus explained this one to you...but can you wait just a little?"

Jess nodded silently - she was just relieved the pain was gone.

"Well, we're going to have dinner in a few minutes - would you like to join us? Papa invited.

Once again, anxiety flooded through Jess, but it vanished again at once.

Papa had her hand on Jess's shoulder, and Jess realised that as long as she was with Papa, and maybe even Jesus or Sarayu, then she would be ok - not perfectly fine, but ok.

"I'd love to have dinner with you." she responded honestly, if not a little meekly.

"Come, sit at the table." Papa smiled, standing up and holding her hand out.

Now feeling childish...but in a good way...Jess took her hand and followed her into the dining room and to the table.

She respectfully waited until she had permission to sit.

"Go ahead and make yourself comfortable honey." Papa invited with a knowing smile.

Jess grinned and sat down.

Jesus was already sitting with Sarayu, and Jess felt shy again, but not anxious - this was quite an improvement she reasoned with herself.

As she was thinking, Barry cleared his throat.

He looked akward as hell, and Jess couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

"Sorry about before, it was stupid." he muttered quietly.

Jess swallowed and nodded.

"It's fine...are you uh, joining us? she asked.

Barry looked around sheepishly.

"You are more than welcome." Jesus informed him warmly.

Barry looked relieved, and Jess cocked her head to the side a little - this behaviour was strange coming from Barry and she wasn't sure what to make of it.

"Can you give me a hand down?" he asked.

Jess did so, quiet and composed.

When she sat back down herself, she fell into deep thought, trying to make sense of everything that had happened in the last hour or two. She barely noticed when Papa sat down.

"Jess?"

"Jess?"

"Hey!"

Jesus gently pinched her arm, making her jump back to reality.

"Ow! Oh sorry!" she laughed.

She looked at Jesus and saw her was grinning at her, and all at once she felt giggly, like a school girl.

She let a few laughs out, but tried her hardest to surpress herself in respect to get the meal started.

However...the more she tried to NOT laugh, the more she felt the urge to, and it was getting harder and harder to hold back.

She decided it would be better to look anywhere but at the holy ones.

Big mistake.

She caught sight of Barry, and realised that he too had been caught in the trap of the giggle and was desperately trying to remain calm.

When they caught each other's eyes, it was too much and they burst out laughing.

Jess laughed harder than she had for years!

She laughed so hard her belly ached, and tears of glee rolled down her face.

After a good 4-5 minutes of laughing, she at long last began to calm down and got control.

For about a minute, there was still small bursts of giggles, but they too stopped.

Jess took a deep breath and sighed out happily.

Now, she could look at Papa, Jesus and Sarayu.

They were watching quite contently, smiles on their faces.

Jess was still grinning.

"Wow..ahem...sorry - should we uh - start the meal?" she asked happily.

"Indeed." Papa laughed, and so that is what they did.

It was truly delicious - the best food Jess or Barry had ever eaten!

It was a far cry from the usual processed food they were used to eating, and Jess was very grateful.

A good meal always was good for the soul as well as the body, so not only did it taste amazing, it also made them feel good and energetic inside.

When theywere finished, Jess sat smiling to herself - she had literally never felt so happy, and though it overwhelmed her, she liked it. She liked it a lot, and she realised that she truly was at peek joy when she was with the holy trinity.

She had to get over her shyness - and what was she even being shy about anyway?

God had seen literally billions of people in tears, on their knees...on their FACES sometimes, confessing the very worst sins imaginable, and sharing the worse pain imaginable, the worse fears imaginable, and on a more wonderful side, the most powerful love imaginable.

Jess breathed out, touched at these thoughts.

Then of course there was the fact that all of it was possible because the trinity had decided to create the world.

Humanity had messed up and always sinned, yet God was always there to forgive, and love, and teach.

Then there was sacrafice - God did not want humans to suffer in sin, and always wanted a close relationship with them, so Jesus had willingly lived as a human and suffered so much as payment - he had been beaten, humiliated and crucified, all so humanity could be at peace, yet they threw it back in his face...Jesus had done it - the same Jesus who was sitting just feet away from her!

Jess glanced up a little and spotted Papa's hands, and wonder filled her.

How long had it took for those hands to create everything? Every single detail, molecule, atom, every design so lovingly thought of, then given life with her breath.

As she thought this, Jess felt a rush of cold surge through her when she spotted Papa's wrists...

They had scars on too, clearly from large nails been driven through them.

She gasped silently.

Papa had been with him...every second.

She had felt every ounce of pain with her son.

Raw emotion filled Jessica now as she finally understood the incredible love the trinity had for humanity.

She couldn't even describe the level of gratitude she felt, and was almost afraid to breathe.

How could she not forgive Barry?

Jesus and Papa had shown her what price had been paid so that humanity's sins were forgiven, and if they went through all that and they could forgive Barry, then why couldn't she?

Now she felt truly ashamed of herself.

Yes, he had caused her so much pain...but it was nothing next to the crucifixion.

Jessica felt a few tears fall slowly, but did nothing to hide them.

She almost wanted to feel vulnerable and exposed, to show Papa and Jesus and Sarayu how powerful and amazing they were for teaching her that lesson.

Of course, they were mature about it all, and tactful.

"Hey Jessica, it's almost sunset. How about you and I go on the peer and watch? Then we can look at the stars? I know you like them." Jesus invited softly.

She looked up at him and blinked.

"I'd love that very much." she answered just as softly.

Well, come on then." he invited kindly, standing up and holding his hand out.

Feeling like a child again, but again in a good way, Jess tok his hand and felt her heart hammer when she touched him.

It was deeply spiritual, but this time, she wouldn't shy away. She would accept it, no matter what.


	5. Chapter 4

Jessica gulped slightly as Jesus led her to the peer.

She wasn't scared of Jesus Himself - more the deeply emotional experience that she knew was about to happen.

She knew she needed it...she needed to let it all out, and really have a spiritual cleansing, but she was nervous.

She couldn't fully shake of her shyness...

Jesus was still holding her hand as he led her, and Jess found she liked it very much. She felt safer the longer he held her and led her.

He was like the father she never had, and she was the child she had never been allowed to be...

Jesus suddenly stopped.

They were on the peer - Jess had barely noticed for being so deep in her thoughts.

Jesus kept a hold of Jessica's hand as he sat down.

"Come, sit with me." he invited gently.

Jess obeyed happily.

The great one was quiet for a moment, seemingly deciding on what to say.

Jessica did not dare disturb him, and fell back into thought.

She wanted to be honest and open...

It seemed silly in one sense, because she knew God already knew everything...but at the same time, this was the start of a true relationship between them, and that meant honesty - a clean slate, as it were...

Still, she couldn't shake those stupid nerves...maybe that was where she should start!

Finally, she looked up.

Jesus had been very patiently watching her.

She blinked.

"Jesus...?" she asked.

He smiled softly.

"Yes?"

"Why is it...this...so hard for me?" she asked, feeling silly just asking it.

Jesus rubbed her hand.

"Firstly, you are not foolish for asking anything. If we are starting this new relationship where I am your Father, then I will assume that role no problem. And one role of a Father is to teach - I want to teach you. I want you to learn." he stated, "In fact, wouldn't you agree that asking God for answers is actually very wise, given that I know everything?"

Jessica was listening to every word, and found herself grinning, assured that she wasn't being silly and that she was welcome to ask any question under the sun without being chided.

Jesus grinned back.

Still smiling, Jess gently placed her free hand over his, to be as connected to him as possible.

"Secondly, to actually answer you. Jess...the reason you feel so shy when it comes to talking to me - or even think about the more spiritual connection with me, even by different people, goes way back to when you were a child, and as you were growing up into the woman you are now. You have suffered, so, so badly, in many different ways. It has literally not only conditioned your brain, but your soul too. You have a serious anger problem, don't you Jess?"

She nodded - it was pointless lying to him, and she didn't want to anyway...everything had to come out now - she had to feel clean.

"Yes." she answered softly, looking at their hands...she couldn't look at him now, it was too much on her emotions.

"Well - why do YOU think you have so much anger?" Jesus prodded.

Jess cringed a little, but answered.

"I'm angry at a lot of things - I had absolutely no control when I was little, and I don't have any control now...I feel trapped, and that just brings up the emotions of when I was little..."

She stopped, unable to continue at that moment - they were entering very dark territory.

"Yes, Jessica, we are going into the dark - but I am the light, you see? Trust me." Jesus instructed, gently but firmly.

She gulped, but knew this was all for her own good.

"You...you know everything. You know what Barry did." she stated painfully.

Jesus held her shoulder with his free hand.

"Well...when he was doing all that, I felt powerless...like I uh - had to go along with it all. It went on for years, and...there is something that makes me feel guilty and sick to my stomach..." she continued, starting to shake as the memories were finally free to come to the surface.

"Tell me." He ordered, His voice soft and concerned.

"When...when I was about 11, 12 or 13...around then - he used to ask me to - to do it all...and I would just - give in and say yes...I actually said yes, and I kept saying yes! I even enjoyed it sometimes and it makes me feel sick!" she growled, now furious with her self.

She couldn't say anymore, she felt too sick.

What she wanted to do was hurt herself, but realised she was prevented by holding Jesus's hand - and she wanted to hold his hand more than she wanted to hurt herself.

"Jessica..." Jesus started, choosing his words very carefully, "You need to understand very clearly, that you are in no way guilty for anything that happened between you and Barry. You were a child, and he was not."

The tears had started now, and Jess kept her eyes firmly on their hands.

"I said yes..." she repeated.

"Because it was easier and caused you less pain."

"I enjoyed it." she groaned, filled deeply with shame.

Jesus sighed.

"Yes, you did. Why? Because that is how your brain coped with abuse - do you understand that?"

Jess shook her head.

"You had already been abused for years before you started enjoying it. You had just begun puberty and had very conflicting emotions and physical feelings - your sexuality was growing. You had no choice but to enjoy it. That doesn't mean you were at fault, it just means you found a way to suffer less during a great injustice." Jesus explained calmly.

Jessica had started crying even more now, but silently.

Now, when she spoke, her voice was cracked.

"Why did he do it?" she pleaded.

Jesus sighed again, clearly emotional.

"I cannot answer that, Jessica. I'm so sorry, but it is up to Barry to defend himself..."

Rage immediately engulfed Jess.

"That's all it ever is with him! Excuses! Reasons! Why can't he just be SORRY for what he did?" she shouted, though of course the anger was not aimed at Jesus himself.

He didn't answer for a moment - and that moment of silence was enough to break her...she completely lost control and broke down in tears.

She didn't care anymore if she looked stupid, she couldn't hold on to all the hurt anymore. She needed God to heal her.

She shifted so instead of sitting, she was kneeling.

Silently, Jesus opened his arms, and Jessica gladly fell into them.

She cried and cried and cried, years and years of raw emotion spilling out of her.

"It's ok." he whispered.

And she knew it was - it was more than ok, it was needed, and he was more than willing to be her provider and comforter.

After several long minutes of release, Jess at last began to calm down.

Jesus rubbed her back as her breathing slowed to normal and the tears finally stopped falling.

At last, she was calmed, and simply stayed in the hug, enjoying the incredible bliss of it - she felt a million times better, despite there still being some stuff to work on.

It had to end though, so eventually, she pulled back.

Jesus tenderly wiped away the tears that remained on her face - it was a gentle act, full of love.

Jess was touched by it.

She breathed out, feeling rather tired.

"Oh it'll drain ya." Jesus smiled, good-naturedly.

She actually managed a small laugh, nodding.

"Yeah..." she agreed, breathing out.

"That, er...feels better." she admitted.

He nodded knowingly.

Gently, he held her shoulder again.

"I'm still listening." he informed her.

Jess nodded slowly.

"Jesus...I know that you already know everything - but - well, would it be ok if could do a sort of...confession...thing?" she struggled.

"Confession thing?" he repeated.

This was said tenderly, but Jessica understood straight away. He wanted her to literally say it.

So, taking a deep breathe - and his hand again - she just went along with it.

"Jesus, I really want to confess some sins to you, here and now, so that we can really begin this new relationship."

Silently, he lifted her face up to make her look at him.

"That sounds like a very good idea - and I think you'll feel very bad during it, but incredible after it." he informed her.

She believed him and nodded.

She was in too deep now, there was no turning back - she didn't want to anyway.

"I feel very guilty about neglecting my grandmother. I keep trying to make excuses for it, but there is none. I was just lazy...nothing else to it. I am so sorry...and I wish with all my being that I could tell her that to her face." she whispered.

Jesus nodded.

"You will get your chance...but I happen to know that she has already forgiven you."

Jessica's eyes widened and she looked back up at him, feeling emotional again.

He looked back, gentle and knowing.

She gulped.

"Can you forgive me?" she asked shakily, involuntary bowing forward slightly, subconsciously needing to show God that he was higher than her.

Her heart was hammering, now suddenly deeply afraid of not being forgiven.

As fear engulfed her, she looked down and spotted his wrists...with scars from the crucifixion very visible.

She was winded for a moment.

Slowly, she closed her eyes and imagined the torture he had underwent.

She shook her head and gently touched the scars.

A whole new wave of emotion slammed into her - a horrifying regret for the entire human population being the cause of his suffering...he had been through so much despite his purity.

She groaned.

"I'm so sorry!" she spluttered, fresh tears forming.

He grabbed her hand.

"I'm not!" he assured her.

She shook her head.

"You didn't have to!" she sniffed.

"I wanted to!" he argued back.

"So that we could be forgiven? We sin every day - some sin a little, some sin a lot, yet we all fall short of God...that's why you did it? You loved us enough to always want a connection - a relationship - without the sin weighing us down, away from you high up?" she cried, overwhelmed with gratitude.

He smiled and nodded, opening his arms again.

She embraced him even harder this time, and any fear, worry or foolishness she had every felt was gone.

"I love you!" she said fiercely, hugging him even tigher as if to prove it.

"And I love you! More than you could ever comprehend! I am God - I created everything, and I created you. Yes, I see everything, and I see all of the sin. I am able to judge. Do you know what I have judged? I have judged you worthy of love! Because you are my child! Can I forgive you? YES! Because I want to - because sin is no longer a barrier between us. I love you so much, and all the pain I went through was so, so worth it! This joy I have in reconciling with every human I can is indescribable! If you could feel it, you would know you were truly in Heaven...You are forgiven. Now please - forgive yourself!" Jesus exploded passionately, making her look in his eyes.

Once more, she saw everything in the universe, and now she felt every emotion.

She felt light, and giddy.

Ok - ok! I forgive myself...this is a fresh start. But please...you have been so, so, so good to me through all of this, and I can never thank you enough! But please can you help me with something else?" Jessica replied, now deep in a spiritual connection - she was nowhere near afraid anymore, she was completely and utterly joyful.

"Yes - I will help you forgive Barry." Jesus nodded, already knowing.

She grinned with appreciation and embraced him yet again - she loved it! She loved him! More than any words could ever describe.

To be in his arms was the greatest of all feeling in the universe.

She was safe.

She was loved.

She was home.


	6. Chapter 5

Jesus grinned, just as happy as Jess was.

"Come, let's go eat supper - I bet you're hungry after all that?" he asked.

She nodded, grinning.

So, they got up and started walking back to the shack.

"Jesus? While we've been on the peer, where has Barry been?" Jess asked.

He glanced at her and smiled.

"He has been talking to Papa."

She raised her eyebrows.

"He has?"

This actually did surprise her - Barry usually argued than God was unloving and repsonsible for his pain every day, if real. His arthritis did get worse every day, and the pain was constant.

"He has been given her a hard time." Jesus revealed, sounding sad.

Jess looked down and sighed.

"Barry is in an aweful lot of pain, every day - even when doin very simple tasks - even when sitting down...pain like that can only build up emotion inside, and I guess God is the only one he can blame it on." she offered - this was not an accussation, just an observation on what she saw every day.

Jesus nodded and put his arm around her.

"You are a very special person." he stated.

That surprised her!

"I am?" she asked, softly.

Now Jesus had some fun.

"No, I am the I am." he grinned.

After a moment, Jess got the joke and burst out laughing.

They laughed together, and it truly was incredible.

Jess truly did love being with him, and inside, never ever wanted to be apart from him again. As she was thinking this, her mind wandered to Papa and Sarayu, and felt exactly the same way - they were all God, and thought the same, also different - it made her giggle and she loved all of them very much.

As her mind thought back on Papa, she remembered the pain in her stomach, and Papa had said it would be better if she asked Jesus about it.

So, she turned to him again as they walked.

"Jesus, when I was in the bathroom, I had this horrible pain in my abdomen...like seriously bad pain. Papa came in and took the pain away, and I asked her what it was, but she said it would be better if I asked you about it?"

He nodded knowingly, and thought for a moment.

"Jess, what had you done just before the pain began?" he asked gently.

She looked down, feeling ashamed.

"I uh...had - just hurt myself." she admitted - she would never lie to him.

He smiled.

"Thank you for being honest." he acknowledged, holding her arm.

"Always with you." she whispered.

She meant it and felt some emotion as she said it, because it was deep...connecting.

Jesus felt it too and rubbed her arm.

As he did so, he slowly began to lift her sleeve.

Jess looked down - she hated it in once sense - she didn't want him to see what she had done to herself.

But, she would allow him to do anything he wanted, and would obey anything he said.

The word hate was still a deep red colour.

Jess sighed out.

"I'm so sorry - I was so angry when I did it and I couldn't let it out any other way...I regreted it straight away." she explained quietly.

Jesus looked her in the eyes.

"Yes, you did regret it - and that was the pain. See, when you were in the bathroom, you were also full of anxiety about being here with us - that is gone now, I am so pleased to see! But, then, you were afraid. So, you didn't ask us to help with the anger. Deep down, you hated yourself for the seperation of us - that's why you scratched the word hate. It wasn't just Barry you were angry with. Your brain was so full of hurt and anger and emotion, that the only place it could put any more pain was in your body - do you understand?"

And Jess actually did - it made perfect sense.

"I'm sorry." she repeated.

Jesus smiled.

"I know you are - you're already forgiven, remember?"

Jess smiled, nodding.

"Yes - because you love me?"

"I want you to learn to love yourself too, instead of hate. See?" he asked softly, rubbing his hand over the word hate.

A tingling feeling spread through her arm, and as Jess watched, the letters changed.

Instead of spelling out "hate", they changed into something worth the scars...worth the remembering..."love".

She breathed out, deeply touched.

She nodded and hugged him again.

That never got old...she absolutely loved hugging him, and Jesus certainly didn't seem to mind - he seemed to like exchanging the gesture of love between them.

After some minutes, they were on there way again and got back to the shack just in time for supper.


	7. Chapter 6

When they got to the door, Jesus and Jess were greeting at the door by Papa.

"Well it's about time!" she chided playfully, "Supper is on the table."

Jess grinned and was rewarded by a heartful smile from Papa.

"Did you have a good talk with Jesus?" Papa asked her.

Jess nodded.

"Very good!" she confirmed, wanting to now embrace Papa.

Papa understood and more than willingly opened her arms.

Grinning, Jess fell into her arms and loved how normal and loving the hug was - it was so parental, and she sighed, content.

Papa laughed happily.

"Come, how about some supper?" she offered.

"Oh yes please!" Jess laughed, "I am starving!"

Everyone laughed, and Jess noticed Sarayu was there too, already waiting at the table.

She smiled at her and Jess nodded at her happily.

They sat down and Jess looked around, suddenly feeling upset.

"Where's Barry?" she asked carefully.

Papa looked at her sadly.

"He is too afraid to join us." she answered.

"Why?"

Jesus answered with another one;

"Why were you scared of us?"

Jess looked down.

"Oh...uh - maybe I could talk with him?" she offered.

Jesus looked at Papa.

"That might be a good idea, Jessica. This food will still be hot and fresh when you get back. He is on the peer now." Papa said.

A horrible sinking feeling overcame Jess just then, and terrified, she looked at Jesus, who looked back sadly.

She shook her head and ran to the peer as fast as she could.

Pain erupted through her legs and chest as she ran faster and further than she ever had.

She refused to give up though - no way in hell was she going to let Barry jump into that water.

At long last she got there, and saw him pacing, getting ready.

"Barry don't!" she shouted, gasping for air.

He turned to her, surprised.

"Why do you care?" he asked - not agressively, but desperately, and Jess felt herself fill with pity for him.

"I care because you're family - not just cousin, but brother too...why do you want to jump Barry? You're life means something!"

"Means what?" he asked, now letting tears come.

"I'm crippled, and all I ever do is hurt people. You especially."

Jess looked down and inched slowly towards him.

"Yes Barry, you're crippled...but with that has come humility, and empathy - you know what it's like for other people and don't judge them like other people do. You understand that everyone is human, and shouldn't be treated differently just because they're disabled. Yes, you have hurt me...horrifically...and I forgive you." she said strongly.

Barry looked startled and overwhelmed.

"Why?" he asked, voice broken.

"Because it's in the past - if I hold on to all the hurt inside me, then it just hurts me even more. It means we have a broken relationship and just argue all the time and try to win in a battle of who's better. But, it doesn't matter. I know you're sorry for hurting me - I can see that now, so I forgive you. We need to move on and concentrate on the future."

He was crying more now, no longer ashamed of the tears.

"What is the purpose of my life?" he sniffed, "I'm better off dead!"

"No you're not!" Jess argued, now close to him, "Barry you don't NEED to do anything in life, that's the point! You were created to live in love - God's love! He created you to experience the beautiful world he created, just so you could enjoy it and know what it is to feel his grace!" she explained, getting very aimated now.

Barry breathed out, shakily, and finally turned away from the water to face her.

"But they know everything! They know what I did..."

"And they love you anyway!" she reinforced.

She sighed.

"Barry - every human on Earth has sinned, and fallen short of God. But that is why Jesus died on the cross. Love always leaves a mark...see?" she asked, pulling her sleeve up and showing her the scratches on her arm.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Barry, I was angry with you...but I took it out on myself instead and scratched the word "hate". But when I talked to Jesus, he made me see that I should love myself, like he loves me, no matter what. So he made the word change to love, so that everytime I look at my arm, I am reminded that he loves me, and can remember HIS scars on his wrists...the true marks of love. He did that Barry, for me. He did it for you. He did it for every human on Earth. So we can be with God again. You don't need to be afraid, they just want to love you." Jessica explained, now crying herself.

Barry fully broke down then, and overwhelmed, Jessica did what she thought she'd never do.

She hugged him tightly, and she was not repulsed by him, but found joy in the healing she was helping with.

"I'm scared of them." he whispered.

"You are loved by them, more than you could imagine. But if you are still scared, then I'll go with you." Jess offered.

After several long minutes of crying, and calming, Barry finally nodded.

"I am sorry, you know." he said softly.

"I know." Jess smiled.

"Let's go tell Papa that."

He gulped and nodded again, and they slowly made their way back to the shack.

Jess breathed out, trying to control her emotion as they neared the shack again.

Her turn was over, but knew Barry would be twice as emotional as her, and the very thought was enough to make her want to cry.

Barry was seriously struggling.

"I'm so scared!" he cried, his breathing becoming very arradic.

Jess placed her hand on his arm.

"You must calm down - or you'll have a panic attack...I swear to you there is nothing to fear of them...their love is - is amazing! It is the greatest and most purest joy you will ever, ever feel. It might hurt you when you start the relationship, but then that's it! You can let go of the past! They WILL forgive you, I promise. Look how sorry you are! And you know what else? They will, if you let them, help heal you from the pain of the abuse you also suffered as a child."

Barry closed is eyes and breathed out.

"I don't deserve it." he whispered.

"No you don't." Jess agreed, "but NO-ONE does. That is what mercy is...getting something you don't deserve. God IS love - so when you live your life with him, then all you know is love - see?"

Barry breathed out again and nodded...he had finally started to see the truth.

"Jess? Did...did you see the scars?" he asked softly.

She nodded slowly, eyes swimming again.

"He allowed me to touch them...I felt where the nails had been driven through, and it was all for us. That is why he is glorious and so deserving of our respect and love." she whispered.

Barry froze.

They were now at the door of the shack.

"Deep breathes." Jess smiled, taking his hand.

She waited until he was ready, then she opened the door.


	8. Chapter 7

The three holy ones were sitting at the table, waiting knowingly.

Jess smiled.

"You know, Papa has cooked some incredible food for us...maybe we could return the favour? You always were good at cooking fish, so how about I go and catch some, and you cook it?" she said tactfully.

"Uh...yeah that - sounds good." Barry replied, a little shakily.

Jess grinned now and as she turned to leave, patted his arm.

"You'll see - it'll be fine." she assured him.

She then left and walked yet again to the peer.

She giggled to herself.

"I'll have lost loads of weight - eating good and all this walking, and that's just in 1 day!"

She burst out laughing, and reached the peer.

Looking into the water, she spotted some very big fish.

She became determined to catch them.

But first...the water looked glorious!

Looking around her and seeing no-one, Jess let her guard down, and giggling like a kid, jumped into the lake.

As she swam, she was overcome by the simple joy of it - it was simply amazing!

She decided to dive down a bit, and was surprised to find she could swim underwater for much longer than she usually could, and had a sneaking suspicion that Papa was making sure she had as much fun as possible.

It truly did feel amazing - she felt like she was flying, but it was impossible to fall.

When underwater, she could only ever go back up, and that thought made her smile.

After about 10 minutes, she decided she had had enough and returned to the peer.

Climbing back up, she felt incredibly refreshed.

She sighed, and felt wonderfully calm and happy as she dried in the warm sun.

The she realised something.

"Oh, I forgot a fishing rod!" she said out loud to herself, groaning.

Out of nowhere, one appeared next to her.

She burst out laughing.

"Thanks!" she smiled, and the sun seemed to shine even brighter at her.

She found some bait next to the rod and set it up.

Once she threw it in the lake, she relaxed again and closed her eyes, just enjoying the tranquility.

She had physically never been so calm in her whole life.

Some time passed and then she felt a strong pull on the rod!

She reeled it in and after a small struggle, finally got her prize - a huge fish, at least 6lbs!

It died very quickly, and Jess wondered if it was Papa quickly taking it's spirit to heaven's lake.

She smiled at the thought and suddenly found a container to take the fish back in.

She grinned and shook her head.

"Thanks again." she laughed.

Once the fish was all packed up, she decided to stay a while more and just enjoy it.

So, she lay down and closed her eyes, feeling the sun's rays on her face.

She sighed and smiled.

She wondered how Barry was doing.

Jess knew of course that no harm would come to him - he had seemed genuinly sorry, and she knew that he was just as loved as she was, and would indeed feel the incredible joy of forgiveness and mercy that only God could bring.

She breathed out, touched at the thought.

Then, she feel asleep.

When she woke up, Jess was greeted by the sight of millions of stars, and they took her breath away.

"They really are amazing." she said outloud.

"Thank you." a voice answered.

Jessica grinned and sat up.

Jesus laughed and sat facing her.

"Enjoy your sleep?" he asked.

Jessica laughed, more at herself for actually napping.

"Yeah, I guess I was way more tired than I thought." she replied.

"Well, you have had a very, very long day, filled with loads of emotions, and then you decided to swim and fish too." Jesus pointed out happily.

"Yeah," Jess sighed contently, "all if it was great."

He nodded, happy that she was happy.

"Hey, I caught a big one!" Jess chatted, as excited any child showing her father something.

This was important and where they both wanted to be, and it felt very natural.

"Let's see then!"

Jess showed him, and Jesus grinned.

"Wow, what a beaut! Well done! That should be enough to feed all of us."

Jessica suddenly had a thought and burst out laughing.

"What?" Jesus asked, laughing at her.

"Is there any bread?" she choked, and together they burst out laughing.

Jesus laughed so hard he had to hold his belly, and the sight of the lord of all laughing so hard had Jessica is complete hysterics.

Everytime she glanced at him, she had another surge of laughing - it got to a point where she couldn't breathe.

"Help!" she gasped through the laughter, and Jesus complied happily.

He looked at her and she immediately calmed down and was able to breathe properly.

"Wow, that was the best laugh I've ever had!" she sighed.

"Yeah, I might actually have to agree." Jesus nodded.

"Really? That's incredible!" Jess said is awe.

Jesus playfully pushed her, making her giggle again, but not uncontrolably.

When they calmed down properly, Jess decided to talk with him properly.

"Hey, Jesus?"

"Yes?"

"Is it all true? All the miracles?"

Jesus' eyes grew soft.

"Yes, it's all true." he confirmed.

Jess nodded.

"It must have been amazing...before the end, I mean." she observed carefully.

He nodded, still smiling.

"It was - I connected with so many people...it was a very special time." he revealed.

Jessica breathed out, nodding.

"How's Barry?" she asked gently.

Jesus nodded.

"It was difficult for him. Very difficult. But the result was incredible. He expressed wholeheartedly his gratitude to you as well, and asked that we give you all sorts of good things." he told her.

Jessica grinned at that and actually felt a rush of warmth go through her at the thought.

She took Jesus' hand in hers.

"You have given me absolutely everything I have wanted - and certainly what I have needed. Thank you." she whispered earnestly.

Jesus nodded and opened his arms, of which she gladly gladly fell into.

She really did love hugging him, and decided to say so.

"I love this." she muttered.

She felt Jesus give a small laugh, filled with happiness.

"I love this too." he replied kindly.

She breathed out, now feeling a little emotional again.

"I love you." she breathed, closing her eyes.

"I love you." he answered straight back, and Jess truly believed him - even more than she did after the confession.

Blissful, she stayed there for a few moments.

Then all of a sudden, her stomach rumbled.

Jesus started laughing at her as Jess sat back, grinning.

"I am not surprised! after everything today, you must be starving! Come, let us go and eat!" he invited, standing up.

"Gladly!" he nodded, jumping to her feet and grabbing the container with the fish in.

"Thanks for the rod by the way." she smiled.

Jesus chuckled.

"I know, I heard you the first time!"

They laughed together, and made their way to the shack yet again.


	9. Chapter 8

"Papa?" Jess called as she went through the door.

"In here." a voice called back, and Jess followed it to the kitchen, where she found Papa preparing herbs, and Barry sitting near her.

"How you doing?" Jess asked him, smiling.

He nodded.

"It was horrible...but amazing too - and now I feel good. Really good!" he answered, eyes wide.

Jessica grinned and Papa, happy.

"Yes, friend - and I hope you will always feel this good!" Jesus informed Barry from behind Jess.

Barry nodded, but remained silent.

"Papa, I caught a big fish!" Jessica exclaimed excitedly.

"Brilliant, Jess!" she was praised, "here, I have some herbs all set up - Barry did you say you would cook it?"

Barry nodded and stood up.

"Jessica, I think you're in need of a snack while the fish is prepared and cooked," Jesus said wisely, "come."

So, Jess out the fish on the bench and sat on the table with Sarayu.

"Sarayu! I've hardly talked to you!" Jess stated apolgetically.

Sarayu laughed, and Jess was almost blown away with the beauty of it.

"You have spent far more time with me then you may think...I am a spirit remember? Every time you have been talking with Papa or Jesus, you have aslo been talking with me - I am everything that you feel when connecting with God." she explained.

"Oh...of course! Ha...thank you Sarayu, the feelings were most enjoyable!"

Jesus and Sarayu started laughing then, and Jess joined in happily, before her stomach rumbled again, and she actually could feel how hungry she was.

"Alright, food!" Jesus instructed, clicking his fingers.

A fresh plate appeared in front of her.

It was the same food seen before when they were meant to sit down for supper, but a little less, and Jessica noted that these foods appeared to be satisfying but light...basically perfect snack material.

"Thank you." she said humbly, bowing her head slightly.

Jesus smiled and nodded, eyes sparkling.

"Thanks Papa!" she shouted in the kitchen.

"You don't need to shout Jess, I'm always right beside you too." her voice replied.

Jess shook her head happily and finally began to eat.

It was delicious, whatever it was, and she found herself full very quick.

"That was great." she stated when she was finished.

She sat back and sighed out, content.

"How about you and I go out on the boat while Barry cooks the fish here?" Jesus invited.

"I'd love to!" Jess excaimed.

"Good! But maybe you'll be getting sick of walking?" Jesus asked playfully, and clicked his fingers.

All at ounce, they were at the peer.

"Woah, that's amazing!" Jess shouted, excited.

Jesus laughed at her.

"Come on then." he invited, holding out his hand.

They climbed onto the boat and rowed to the middle of the lake before stopping.

Jessica looked around her, allowing herself to be taken in by the beautiful.

"It's amazing." she whispered.

"You like the mountain?" Jesus asked her.

"Yeah, it looks great." she laughed, "I've always wanted to climb one."

"Hmm, well if we go now, I can get us home just as the fish is cooked." Jesus stated.

Her eyebrows shot up and she looked at him.

"Seriously? Go climb a mountain?"

"Why not?" he laughed.

Jess began hysterically laughing, and nodded her head.

"Ok, I'd love to!"

"Come on then!" Jesus called, jumping out the boat, landing on top of the water.

"Oh that is so cool!" Jess stated in awe, "what's it like?"

"Join me, and you'll find out for yourself." Jesus replied.

"Oh cool!" she laughed, immediately jumping out the boat.

The landing was incredible soft - it was like walking on land but...not?

Jess had a huge grin on her face.

"THIS is amazing!" she whispered, "thank you for sharing this with me."

"My pleasure - race you." Jesus laughed back, begining to run.

Giggling, she chased after him - as they ran, fish tickled Jess' feet, and she shook her head at how bizarre, but wonderful, it all was.

They reached the shore in no time.

"Alright, you've never climbed a mountain before, so trust me and please do as I say." Jesus instructed.

Jess touched his arm.

"Always." she promised.

Jesus smiled, eyes shining, and they began the climb.

At first it was a very easy slope, gradually getting steeper as they continued upwards.

Jess looked around, already enjoying the view.

The lake sparkled in the sun's light, and the shack was surrounded by beautiful flowers.

Smiling, she continued, following Jesus who had took the lead.

"Alright Jess, it's gonna get harder now - it pretty much steep edges now to climb up, so let me go first and I'll lift you up." Jesus called back.

Jess' heart fluttered.

"Think you already have." she muttered to herself, forgetting momentarily that Jesus could hear her.

She heard him chuckling as he climbed up.

She grinned, waiting for instruction.

He turned back and held his hand out.

She reached out, feeling highly spiritual and took his hand.

He handled her weight easily and pulled her up.

She giggled.

"This is so cool!" she stated, excited.

"Wait til you get to the top." he teased, nudging her.

Her eyes grew wide at the thought, and eagerly she cotinued.

The climb did indeed get harder, but Jess found if she trusted Jesus, he got her higher and higher with ease.

About halfway up, there was a gentle slope going round.

Jesus went off ahead while Jess slowed to a gentle pace, simply enjoying it.

But as she turned the corner, she came to face with a hug brown bear!

She hasped and froze, finding herself utterly terrified.

The bear roared at her in warning, so she slowly tried to back off, but felt her foot slip on the face of the mountain.

She was trapped, and the bear was getting angry.

"Easy." she whispered, trying to find a solution.

The bear stood on its back legs, roaring fiercely, and Jess started shaking in terror.

"Jesus?" she called pitifully.

Just like that, his voice was heard from behind the bear.

"Go now, bear!"

The bear didn't seem to realise who had spoken though, and angrily swiped at Jess, who screamed and fell back.

She grabbed the edge with one hand, and found herself hanging of the side of the mountain.

She started to cry from fear and pain, but managed to grab the edge with her other hand too.

The bear however, was very angry now from her scream, and began biting her hands.

"Jesus help me!" Jess cried, now in agony, and afraid that she would let go.

"I am here Jessica. Trust me." came his voice.

She breathed out, still afraid, but faithful that she would not die from this.

"Bear, I am the creator and master of this world. You should obey me. Go now." she heard.

She breathed out, closing her eyes.

She kept forgetting, because of all the fun, that this really was a very religious experience, and shouldn't forget who Jesus truly was.

The bear calmed at once and let out a soft growl of acknowledgement, and left.

Jesus appeared at the edge and grabbed Jess' now bloodied hands.

He pulled her up quickly.

She breathed out shakily, the adrenalin that had been surging through her starting to die down.

She remained on her knees, realising it was less energy, and tried to calm down.

Tears came then as she realised what had happened.

"You...you saved me! Thank you!" she choked meaningfully.

Jesus sighed and crouched in front of her.

"Let me see your hands." he ordered gently.

She obeyed and held them out for him.

He softly rubbed his fingers over hers, and the blood vanished. The wounds from the bites looked bad, but Jesus rubbed these too and they immediately healed, leaving scars behind.

Jess nodded in gratitude - every time she looked at her hands, she would see the scars and be reminded of this experience.

"Thank you." she breathed again.

Jesus hugged her.

"You are most welcome - thank you for trusting me and calling for me when you needed help." he said softly.

She nodded - no more words were needed.

"We don't have to go back do we?" Jess asked softly.

Jesus shook his head.

"Not if you don't want to." he answered.

"I wanna get to the top." she smiled.

"Then let's go!" he smiled back, lifting her up to her feet.

The rest of the journey was pretty easy in comparison, and at long last, they reached the peek.

Climbing up, Jessica's breathe was taken away.

The sight was outstanding.

Everywhere she looks was just pure beauty.

She could still see the shack, with smoke coming out the chimney, and from this high, she saw something else.

"Oh look at the flowers!" she cried out, laughing in amazement.

Jesus grinned.

"Yes Jess - the flowers make a shape - its called a fractal pattern. And see? They look like you and Barry."

Jess breathed out.

"It's so beautiful." she stated.

Jesus held her shoulder.

"That is how we have always seen you. A mess in truth, but forming something beautiful."

Jess smiled, touched and nodded, thankful.

Then, she noticed something else.

In the middle of her garden...one could argue the heart...lay another garden, with a tree in the middle.

She cocked her head to the side and thought about it, before realising.

She looked down, now sad.

"Jesus?" she asked quietly.

"Yes, Jess?" he answered, his voice very soft.

"You know...you know when I was on holiday?" she started, keeping her eyes fixed on the tree.

"Yes?"

"Did...did I have a miscarriage?"

There, she had asked.

Jesus sighed out, and let some tears fall.

"Yes."

Emotion surged through Jess and she was winded for a moment.

Slowly, she knelt down on the edge of the cliff, closing her eyes as she tried to compose herself.

She didn't ask why.

On holiday she drank an awful lot of alcohol and smoked, plus the actual flight there - she was certain these contributed to losing her baby.

She closed her eyes tighter, trying to control her breathing.

"What...was...was the baby a girl or boy?" she choked.

Jesus gently held her shoulder.

"She was a girl." he answered.

Jess nodded.

"Did uh...did she get to go to heaven?" she asked, simply letting the tears fall now.

Jesus made her look at him.

"Of course! She is there now, and can't wait to see you. But she is patient."

Jess bit her lip, and gave herself a few moments.

"What's her name?" she asked.

Jesus looked thoughtful.

"Well, we have not named her - you are her mother, and it is your job. What would you like to call her?" he asked gently, rubbing her shoulder.

Jess thought long and hard.

She thought of many different names and their meanings.

Finally, one came to mind and stuck, filling her with joy.

"Annalisa." she answered softly, almost crying again.

Jesus sat next to her.

"Her name means 'graced with God's bounty' - it suites her well." he told her kindly.

Jess nodded, smiling at the thought.

She let go and started crying, bitter at the thought of not meeting her little girl.

Jesus held her as she wept, and silently waited patiently.

"Let it all out." he whispered.

And that is exactly what she did.

She wept and wept as she thought of all she would miss...the birth, the first tooth, scraped knees, crushes, tantrums...everything.

This went on for about 10 minutes before she dried up, then she closed her eyes and simply thought silently.

"She'll always be with you." she whispered.

"Always." the great one promised.

Jess sighed and leaned forward.

"You...and Sarayu and Papa - you'll love her even more than I can love her...and that's with all my being! I should be happy for her - she has never had to suffer in life - she has only known your grace." she prayed.

She closed her eyes.

"Please - please just let her know how much I love her - how much I want her...until I can be with her." she pleaded, conncecting her very spirit with the holy trinity.

She breathed out at the powerful experience and finally opened her eyes.

Jesus had been watching and listening, some tears falling from him.

It touched Jess deeply and she gulped before continuing.

"You are Lord. Elohim, God on High...and you really deserve it for how much love and mercy you show. I needed this, truly, and Annalisa needed a name. Despite my *huge* sins, you forgave me. You have given me the most incredible experience of my entire life, and nothing else will ever come close. I cannot even begin to express the joy you have given me. The love I have felt from you, and the love I feel FOR you. I was so shy before today, but it doesn't matter now - I can say with all my heart that you are truly wonderful, and **good**. I...I canot even express it! How grateful I am to you." she expressed, her voice thick with raw emotion.

Jesus closed his eyes, very touched.

"I know you are - and thank you. Thank you very much. Come, let's go back to the shack and sit together and eat the fish you caught." he invited, his voice incredibly soft.

Jess nodded and when she blinked, they were there.

She grinned straight away when she realised she was still kneeling, but now in front of Papa, who was sitting at the table.

Papa was smiling, her eyes full of joy.

"Good trip?" she asked.

Jess chuckled.

"Like you don't know!" she quipped, eyes full of glee.

Papa, Sarayu and Jesus all started laughing then, and joining in, Jess slowly stood up and searched for Barry.

"He's in the kitchen," Sarayu informed her, "come sit with us - Barry has asked that he serve us the meal."

"Aww." Jess said quietly, amazed at the change just one day with God had done for him.

She really was touched at the spiritual side of it...serving God was something she never though Barry would do.

She tried to distract herself from it - to normalise it.

"Papa?"

"Yes, Jessica?"

"Will I ever have a baby?" she asked. She tried to keep the question normal, but everyone heard the emotion she was trying to hide.

"Yes, Jessica. I won't say when...but one day, you will have a beautiful daughter." Papa replied gently.

Jessica blinked.

"Promise?" she asked.

Papa nodded.

"I promise."

Jessica smiled.

"Well...when she is born, maybe I'll call her Elizabeth...or Beth for short."

Papa nodded thoughtfully.

"That is very beautiful - meaning "God's oath." It will suite her just as well as Annalisa's name suites her." she stated.

Jessica smiled, touched.

Just then, Barry appeared with the fish.

Carefully, he served everyone a plate of fish.

It had all sorts of herb on, and Jess truly found it fantastic as they tucked in.

"This is really good!" she praised, making Barry blush.

The meal was enjoyed very much and everyone began talking about amazing things that happened on Earth, and Jess was epecially curious about the bible stories. All her questions were answered, no problem, and Barry too got to learn, and understand God much more than he thought possible.

When it was all over, Jess sighed - she was incredibly content.

But then a sad thought occured to her.

"Papa? What happens now? We have been taught so much today and have been redeemed - we understand who you are now and have had an incredible experience. But the day is almost over?"

Papa smiled, a little sadly.

"This has been a very special day for both of you. But you have learned everything you can. So, now you have a choice. You may stay with us forever in heaven...or you can stay on earth and live your life." she explained.

Jess looked at Barry, unsure.

She had never been so happy, and wanted to stay very much...but she also wanted to live and tell everyone she met about her amazing experience, so that they too could know who God really was.

"If I stay, I will be able to meet Annalisa. But then...Elizabeth will never know what it is to live, and I won't be able to tell people about this outstanding day...so I will miss you with all my heart, but I want to continue living. I know you'll always be with me, and I know you will always hear my prayers." she decided, looking in Papa's eyes.

Papa smiled, eyes sparkling.

"You will join me in Heaven one day," she stated, "but until that day, go out and spread the lesson that you have learned."

"I absolutely will! Thank you so much for bringing us here." Jess breathed.

Then, she turned to Barry.

"What do you want to do?" she asked gently.

Barry looked down and sighed.

"I don't know..." he answered honestly, "I know you said before when you stopped me from jumping, that I was created to live loved. But other than that, I physically cannot do anything. I am slowly getting worse every day, and the pain grows every day too. I have never felt so much love, ever. This has been the greatest day of my whole life...and I don't want to leave - I want to always be with you!" he confessed, now looking at Papa, "is it wrong? not wanting to go back?" he asked quietly.

Papa shook her head with assurance.

"No, Barry. I gave you a choice, so how could it be wrong to choose? If it is what you truly want, then you may certainly come with us."

Jess looked down, knowing this was all bittersweet.

"Jessica? I'll miss you." Barry stated suddenly.

She breathed out.

"I'll miss you too." she smiled, tears threatening.

She blinked and looked at Jesus.

"So, what happens now? How do I go back home, while Barry stays?"

"Go to bed, just through there - when you wake, you will no longer be here." he answered.

Jess sighed and slowly stood up.

First, she hugged Barry.

"See you when I get to heaven." she smiled.

He nodded, letting tears come.

Next, Jess hugged Sarayu.

"You are God is spirit, so I know that when I feel God around me, I'm feeling you - you will always be close by me." she whispered.

"Yes, I will." Sarayu promised, her voice incredibly sweet.

Now, she turned to Jesus.

He already had his arms open ready when she came to him.

"I cannot begin to express how grateful I am for what you have done for me today...and what you did all those years ago. When I pray, it will be in your name, and I'll know that you will always be listening to me...whether answering or simply hearing me talk about my day. I can't wait to see you again!" she breathed, hugging him tighter.

Jesus was silent, but hugged her back just as tightly.

Finally, Jess let go and went to Papa.

"Papa - you have made all of this possible with your incredible love and mercy. When I live my life, I will always be thinking about you, and will always show others the same love, kindness and mercy you have given me today, and I will tell everyone what has happened here." she promised, deeply moved by the spiritual moment.

"You are blessed in the highest, Jessica Kelly. ALWAYS remember that. I will always hear you. See you. Be with you. And I will see you again when you pass over into my kingdom." Papa told her, and Jess could tell she meant every word.

She let tears come, but this time, they were joyful ones.

She hugged Papa tightly, and stayed there for several moments, not really wanting to let go.

In the end though, she had to, and gently pulled back.

"I love you." she whispered.

"And I love you - more than you could ever imagine." Papa answered, voice full of passion.

Jess nodded, and smiling, went into the room and climbed into bed.

Fully exhausted from the outstandingly long day full of emotions and tonnes of excercise, she fell asleep immediately.


	10. Epilogue

She woke up, extremely groggy.

"Jess!?" a voice shouted, full of emotiom, "she's waking up!"

Groaning, Jessica was filled with a horrible nausea, and a banging headache.

"Jess, can you hear me?" an unfamiliar male voice asked.

She nodded slowly, aware it hurt to move her head.

"Excellent. Just relax and don't rush it - you're safe," the voice assured her, "My name is Doctor Kimmel. You are in hospital. There was a massive gas leak in your flat and you were slowly being poisoned, and then there was a surge of the leak last night. You are very, very lucky to be alive."

Jess opened her eyes and could finally focus on the doctor - a black man of around 50, with very kind eyes.

Jess spotted her mother next to him, looking very anxious and relieved at the same time.

"Oh Jess!" she cried, enveloping her in a tight hug.

Jessica breathed out and allowed the tears to come, overwhelmed with emotion.

"Where's Barry?" she asked, needing to confirm to herself that it wasn't all a dream.

Her mother shook her head, sadly.

"He fell asleep on the chair in the living room and never woke up...he was closer to the leak than you were. Being upstairs has probably saved you." she choked.

Jess nodded, trying to stop herself from crying - everything had been confirmed in her mind, and she knew that Barry was safe and happy with Papa, Jesus and Sarayu.

"How was I found in time?" she asked quietly.

"Well...that part is unbelievable!" the doctor interjected, "your neighbour went to sleep as usual, and had a dream. In it a black woman appeared and told her to ring for help because there was gas leak in your flat, and your life depended on it. A man also appeared next to her and claimed that she must wake up and call for help."

"THAT WAS PAPA AND JESUS!" Jess suddenly exploded, startling her mother and doctor.

"I - what?" Doctor Kimmel asked.

"Was there another woman too? A very beautiful woman? Looked asian?" she asked, heart hammering.

Their eyes widened.

"Yes."

Jess burst out laughing.

"Oh, it's amazing isn't it? The black woman was Papa, or God the Father, the man was Jesus, and the beautiful woman was Sarayu, the holy spirit! I spent all of last night with them...or at least it was day when I was there. Barry was there too - oohh what a story I have to share with you!"

And Jess fell into great detail, not missing anything out.

Now and the, her mother and Doctor Kimmel would gasp, and sometimes would even cry.

When she was finished, she quietly watched for their final reaction.

"This is impossible." Doctor Kimmel whispered.

Jess smiled and held his hand.

"Look at my hand." she told him.

He did and saw the scars from the bear bites.

He gasped.

"They really do look like bear bites!" he stated in wonder.

"And my arm." Jess now whispered, choking back tears.

Her mother stepped forward then and slowly rolled her sleeve up.

She gasped and covered her mouth her hand as their eyes found the word clearly etched into her skin.

Love.

Doctor Kimmel gently examined them and shook his head.

"These scratches are fresh...impossible to do whilst unconscious!"

Jess smiled, nodding.

"God is truly the most wonderful and amazing thing to exist in this entire universe - which he made, by the way! It's all about love and mercy - we need to tell everyone about this!" she said strongly.

And they believed her.

They truly did believe her.

"Get some rest." the doctor informed her, wiping away some tears.

She nodded, and he left, leaving her quite alone with her mother.

"Ma - we were all created to live loved. Let us spread the word to everyone we meet!"

And, once Jessica was deemed well enough by her amazed doctor, that is exactly what they did.

Jess talked in earnest and great excitement with her vicar, and he believed her straight away just from the difference in the way she talked of God.

He saw her scars and was amazed that she had touched Jesus'.

She was allowed to testimony that Sunday, and in return, her vicar spread the word to everyone he could.

The word spread fast, and Jessica wrote a book so that the truth could be reached to general non believers who wouldn't hear it in church.

Thousands of lives were changed.

Of course, Jessica recieved some backlash.

People called her a liar, or simply said she was hallucinating from the gas.

They couldn't explain her scars of course.

Along with Barry, all of the dogs perished in the leak, and though she was heartbroken, Jess knew they were with Papa, Jesus and Sarayu.

Though she missed them dearly, she was happy for them.

She started a charity and threw herself into helping others, and was sure to tell everyone her story and show her scars.

Luke and her moved in to the house after a few years, and 10 years to the day of Jessica's day with God, she finally gave birth to Elizabeth.

Jessica closed her eyes in bliss as the prayers were said.

Elizabeth was 3 months old, and was being christened at her church.

Father Quinn, her vicar, happily poured holy water over the infant's head, and Jess welled up as she thought of Jesus in the river jordan.

As she thought, she was distracted by a shimmering light.

Looking, her eyes quickly found the source.

"Sarayu!" she squeeled.

Father Quinn quickly turned to see too and knew at once who he was looking at.

Sarayu laughed at his amazed face, and gently turned to look at her left.

Papa and Jesus were there, and Jess breathed out, joyous at seeing them again.

She quickly rushed to them.

First, she hugged Jesus tightly.

Almost crying, she breathed in his scent.

"Ahh I've missed you so much!" she exclaimed.

"I've always been here." he reminded her.

She pulled back, nodding.

"I know - but I mean, I've missed you like this - 10 years seems like a very, very long time to a human." she laughed.

They chuckled with her, and Jess turned to Papa.

"Papa!" she cried, rushing in for a hug off her.

She was recieved gladly, and Jess couldn't express the love she felt during the exchange of affection.

When she was with them, Jess felt like a child again, and it made her very happy.

Next, she hugged Sarayu, which was a whole different feeling.

She was lighter than Papa and Jesus, but the love was just as strong.

After all, they were all God, and all loved her the exact same way.

It was confusing, but wonderful.

"Papa, Jesus, Sarayu - I'm pretty sure you're aware, but my daughter Elizabeth is here today to be christened...can I PLEASE introduce her to you?" Jess asked, grinning with excitement.

"Ahh Jessica, we would LOVE to meet Elizabeth." Jesus nodded eagerly.

She breathed out, happy.

Turning to face Father Quinn, she found he was already staring in awe.

She chuckled gently.

"He has spent his whole life serving you, and spreading your word. Now, he knows you are standing right here, and is probably feeling a million different things." she observed, voice soft.

Papa laughed kindly.

"Go ahead, invite him over here with your precious child...tell him not to be afraid, because we love him. Also, tell him from me that he is not expected to fall at my feet - a regular conversation will be good enough for me."

Jessica grinned at that.

"You're the boss!" she sang playfully, bowing.

Jesus let out a short, loud laugh.

"And don't you forget it!" he said in mock sterness.

Jess chuckled and walked over to Father Quinn, who of course was still holding Elizabeth.

"Father, I think it's safe to say that you have guessed who these most wonderful 3 are?" she enquired.

He looked at her, eyes wide.

"Are...are they really...?"

"Yep!" she nodded, patting his shoulder, "Come, meet them! I know you want to! Oh, and Papa said to tell you from her that she doesn't expect you to fall at her feet...just talk, and she don't be afraid - you are loved."

The vicar breathed out, unsure if she was joking or not.

"I'm not kidding - they are a lot more about relationships than hierachy, believe me! They will always accept worship...and any expression of love from us to them - but they don't **expect** it. That's the point!" Jess assured him, getting more animated with every word.

Father Quinn breathed out and nodded.

Jess lovingly took Elizabeth off him, and like every other time she had held her daughter, felt a rush of emotion come over her.

"Hello beautiful - there's some lovely people I want you to meet!" she cooed, and her baby gargled, eyes locking with her mother's.

"Come on, Father." she pushed, leading the way.

She breathed out as she approached the holy trinity again - this suddenly felt very spiritual, and very, very holy.

She could wipe the smile of her face though, and looked at them.

She rembered how excited she was when she showed them the fish she had caught...this felt a billion times more exciting.

"This is Elizabeth." she informed them gently.

Already, she could see the pure love in their eyes.

"I am especially fond of babies...they are so pure and innocent - the point in any human's life where they are the absolute closest to me." Papa stated, her voice caring and tender.

Jessica offered her Elizabeth, and Papa more than gladly took the baby in her arms.

"Ohh my, my, my." she cooed, "you are so precious, child. Always remember, you are so loved. By us, and certainly by your mama."

Jess bowed her head then, feeling emotional.

She would try her hardest every single day to show Elizabeth the same love that she had been shown that day at the shack.

"Oh," Papa noted, "here comes Father Quinn...he was taking his time. He was giving us a chance to meet Elizabeth. Jesus, would you like a hold?" she offered.

Of course, Jesus immediately reached out and gently took hold of the beautiful baby.

"Oh Jess, she looks exactly like you." he stated, eyes sparkling.

Jessica thought about it and understood perfectly what he had just said.

"Thank you." she whispered, holding his arm.

He smiled at her, nodding.

"Now, Elizabeth," he began, looking into the infant's eyes, "you must remember that we are always going to be with you, no matter what. We love you more than anything."

Elizabeth gave him a cute gurgle, making them all laugh and say "aww."

"Jess?" Papa asked, making her look up straight away.

"Yes, Papa?"

"Father Quinn seems to be having some nerves." the holy one informed her.

Smiling, Jess nodded and went to retrieve him.

"Come on, Father. I promise there is nothing to be afraid of - they really are wonderful! Remember all those years ago when I was so shy to even speak about them? Now look at me!"

Father Quinn looked down.

"I have spread their word and spoke of their mercy, but I now I have my own confession, Jessica. I'm afraid because I'm a hypocrate...I er - I'm not sinless..." he admitted.

Jess sighed, shaking her head.

"Father," she began, holding his hands and making him look at her, "NO-ONE is. Except Jesus...they love you more than you can imagine, and Jesus made a huge sacrafice so that our sins didn't stop us from connecting with Papa. You know how much Papa loves us? She was there with him. Every lash he got, every nail that was driven through his wrists...she was there, feeling everything. And every time we feel pain, it's the same - she feels it. They want us to just...let us love us - live loved, remember?"

Father Quinn looked down.

Jessica sighed and gently pulled her sleeve up.

The scars were as clear as ever.

"These scars once spelled out the word hate, remember? Jesus changed them to love, so that I could always remember they love me, and be reminded of his scars. The scars on my hands? They were from the bear, remember? I trusted him to save me and he did. Come with me - trust them, and just let them love you." she compelled.

Father Quinn breathed out and nodded, finally following her.

Jesus, Papa and Sarayu all smiled warmly as they approached.

Father Quinn was quiet for a moment, simply drinking in their features.

Finally, he got the courage to speak.

"Uh...hi?" he stuttered.

"HA!" Papa suddenly shouted, making the poor man jump.

"Hi to you Joseph! Come her and give Papa a hug!" she demanded, pulling him in to a fierce cuddle.

Jess, Jesus and Sarayu laughed, enjoying Papa's good nature.

"Oh...I er...ok." Father Quinn gave in, hugging her back.

As the moment continued, he visibily relaxed and was clearly moved by the fact he was literally hugging God.

Jess sighed out, feeling very happy for him.

Hugging Papa really was amazing!

Well hugging any one of them was, really.

"Jessica, may I hold Elizabeth?" Sarayu asked.

"Of course!" she nodded eagerly.

The longer Elizabeth was in God's hands, the longer she was 100% safe.

Jesus lovingly handed her over to Sarayu, and at once covered her in kisses and praises of her cuteness.

"Hey," Jesus said softly, grabbing Jess's attention.

"Yes Lord?"

"I heard everything you said to Father Quinn, and it is what he needed hear."

"Well...it was all the truth. I saw the scars on Papa's wrists too." Jess replied quietly, now sad.

Jesus nodded, thinking.

"Jesus?" Father Quinn asked timidly, making Jess grin knowingly.

She tactfully turned to look at Elizabeth and Sarayu, pretending not to hear.

She was sensible enough to know that Father Quinn needed this moment between him and the son, but that he needed her to be close by.

"Hello Joseph - it is wonderful to meet you!" Jesus greeted warmly, holding his hand out to shake.

As Father Quinn took it, he couldn't help but look and notice the scars on his wrists, and his eyes grew wide.

"It's ok, Joseph. It was worth every moment, I promise you." Jesus informed him quickly.

Father Quinn nodded, unsure what to say next.

Jesus suddenly grinned, aware that Father Quinn wanted to ask something specific, but was too nervous to ask.

Jess glanced over and caught his eye.

She understood immediately and smirked.

"It's ok, Father. You can ask him anything, don't be nervous. I did tell you about my day at the shack, right? THAT was nerve wracking!" she joked, nudging him.

Papa and Jesus laughed at that, and Father Quinn couldn't help but join in.

Gathering his courage, he finally spoke up.

"I..I er - have spent my whole life wondering about you. I alwaysknew the story and shared it...but I think I haven't fully appreciated it..uh...you I mean. I - I uhhh..was wondering..."

Jesus cocked his head to the side, showing that he was listening intently.

Father Quinn breathed out, feeling nervous again.

"Well...could I - or, or that is may I...touch the scars?" he finally asked quietly.

Jesus smiled and Jess tried to herself from crying.

This was a deeply spiritual moment, and she remained silent, not daring to interupt.

"Of course you may." Jesus nodded, holding his hands out again.

Father Quinn shakily allowed his fingers to brush the scars.

He imagined the nails that were driven through, and the agony Jesus would have been in.

Then, he remembered Jess had told him that Papa had been there with him and felt everything.

Shyly, he glanced over, and spotted her scars too and sighed out.

"Your love is so...unimaginable!" he stated in wonder, eyes filling up.

Jesus then folded his hands around Father Quinn's.

"You're right - our love for you in unimaginable. We would do this a thousand times again, even if it were just for you!" he promised.

The raw emotion finally got to him, and Father Quinn allowed himself to let go and cry.

Smiling, Jesus opened his arms and hugged him tightly.

Tears rolled down Jess's cheeks and she focused on Elizabeth, trying not to intrude.

She heard a soft chuckle behind her and turned to find Papa.

"Wanna join in this love fest?" Papa invited.

Grinning, Jess nodded and embraced her, breathing in her amazing scent...it was so natural and filled her with wonder and awe.

This being that she was hugging...and who was hugging her back with all the love in the universe...created absolutely everything! Every atom in the universe - every sight, every smell. Here she was sharing it with her!

"Thank you so much Papa!" she whispered meaningfully.

"You are most welcome, child." came the reply.

Smiling, Jess nodded and simply got lost in the incredible comfort of Papa's arms, never wanting to let go.

She sighed.

"I wish I could stay here forever." she admitted.

"I wish that too, honey. But then, you'd be leaving Elizabeth." Papa reminded her gently.

Slowly, Jess pulled back, and instead held Papa's hands.

"I know. I will live my life and raise Elizabeth to the very best of my ability. I will always teach her of how much you love her, and about my incredible day at the shack with you. I will always teach her of the incredible sacrafice you made, and what you went through. I make this promise to you now, the same as when you promised me Elizabeth all those years ago!" she swore passionately.

Papa was positively glowing with joy now.

"I know you will keep your promise, as I kept mine to you. You have done such good work for me already, with your testimony and your book. You have literally saved lives, you know? People on the brink of scuicide have remembered your words and stepped back from the edge of destruction." she informed her softly.

Jess's eyebrows raised.

"Really?"

"Child, have I ever lied to you?" Papa asked with mock annoyance.

Jess grinned.

"Oh no, I've offended the Lord. Please do have mercy on me, great one, and I promise I'll actually be on time for church next week!" she giggled, glee in her eyes.

Jesus and Sarayu burst into laughter at that, and Jess and Papa quickly joined in - even Father Quinn couldn't hold back!

After a solid five minutes of laughter, they finally started to calm down.

Papa hugged Jess again, shaking her head.

"My, my, I sure do love you!" she exclaimed.

Jess breathed out, turning serious.

"And I love you. Very, very much!" she said passionately.

Smiling, she turned to Jesus.

"I love you very much too!" she assured him, grinning.

Jesus chuckled and rewarded her with a strong hug, and even a kiss on her forehead.

"Sarayu? You know how much I love you, cos you pretty much am how I feel!" Jess laughed.

They all laughed again.

Jess looked down and gently took Elizabeth back off Sarayu.

Their expressions grew soft and calm, knowing what was going to happen.

Sarayu gently rubbed her arm to give her a bit more courage for this very holy moment.

"Papa?" Jess asked, very softly, turning back to her.

"Yes?" Papa answered, equally as soft.

"I brought Elizabeth here today to be christened, so that she would be clean and be a part of our family. I er...wondered if you would do me the immense honour of blessing her?" she wondered, voice tender and she was reminded that she was indeed speaking to God Almighty.

Papa nodded, smiling sweetly.

"It would be my pleasure, child." she explained, holding her arms out.

Overjoyed, Jess lovingly handed her daughter over to God.

Even THAT moment was special, and Jesus rubbed her arm to acknowledge the holiness of it.

It was differenent than before...before Jess was handing Elizabeth to Papa as any friend would introduce their baby.

This time, she was handing Elizabeth over to God, and it had very deep meaning.

Papa's eyes were incredibly tender as she gazed into Elizabeth's.

"Elizabeth Kelly. You are loved in the very highest, by the very highest. I am blessing you today, sweet child. You will never doubt my existance, and you will never doubt by goodness, or love. You will always do good on Earth because Sarayu will always be with you, Jesus will always be in your heart, and I will always be in your soul."

Jess breathed out as tears fell, overwhelmed with emotion.

THAT was a true blessing.

Papa gently placed Elizabeth back in her mother's arms.

"Now, Jessica. Would you like to be blessed?" Papa offered kindly.

The offer was incredible, but Jess shook her head.

"Papa...thank you so, so much. But between simply seeing all 3 of you, sharing my story, saving people through sharing the truth, knowing who you are really like whilst not forgetting that you are God Almighty, redeeming me at the shack, forgiving me, and saving me from the bear, as well as saving my soul...and finally, giving me my beautiful, beautiful daughter, while my other daughter is with you...well...I am more than blessed enough." she sniffed, overcome with the power of it all.

Sarayu, Jesus and Papa held hands and nodded, smiling.

"We are so, so proud of you Jess!" Jesus informed her, "And we know you will continue with your good work until you fall asleep in this world, and join us in ours. Until then, sweet child...you are blessed. And you always will be!"

Jessica sniffed as more tears came and nodded her head quickly to acknowledge them.

"Thank you." she whispered, bowing her head.

Warmth and calmness surrounded her, and when she looked up, they were gone.

Yet, Jess knew they were right there.


End file.
